Wednesday, May 9, 2012

More Advice

Okay... so for the most part I agree with you B.A.F.F.L.E.D. However, I think you need to provide a little more direction for the asethetically challenged men out there. So, I'm taking your summer fashion points and expanding on them a bit.

1st - ALWAYS HAVE A HAT IN CHECK. But keep in mind what hat it is, where you are going, and what else you are wearing. And, also keep in mind how your hair is going to look if you decide (or are required) to lose the hat depending upon what watering hole you venture into (note #5). Some bars and clubs wont let you wear any headgear, so make a note of where you're going. Remember, bad hat hair isn't exactly trendy; take a look for yourself here.

If you're in the sun, keep tan lines in mind. The mid-forehead tan line from a backwards baseball cap says, "I love sports, but I don't like talking to attractive girls." If you dont believe me take a look here. I suppose you could give this a go, but I wouldn't consider it a viable option.

And, finally, you should all know the color rules by now. Try to match the color of the hat with something else you are wearing. Or, at least make sure they don't clash, unless that's what you're going for. This is a FAIL. Here are examples of well paired and well worn fedoras. Here are epic fails at piecing baseball caps with outfits. And, here's a good example. NOTE: I don't like trucker hats, but if you wear one, I'd suggest not wearing it backwards. Otherwise, splurge for a fitted baseball cap.

2nd - WATCH YOUR FEET - I agree, try and take care of your feet, though I'm not great at it because I'm always wearing socks. But, this is especially important if you plan on either 1) wearing sandals or flip flops or whatever, or 2) you ever plan on taking off your socks around a human being who appreciates good grooming habits. If you wear socks all the time, your feet may dry out. Invest in some lotion. And, at least make an attempt at keep your toe nails trimmed and clean. You don't want your feet to look like this (funny, not gross). The more athletic male may find that his toes suffer from jamming into the toe of his shoe while being active. Buy shoes that fit! Again, note the color scheme. And, note the following as a universal rule: NO SOCKS WITH SANDALS OR ANY SIMILAR TYPE OF FOOTWEAR! And, just throw out the crocs already... or at least don't wear them anywhere you plan to be "trendy."

3rd - EMBRACE BRIGHT COLORS - I most certainly agree, though I'm not completely sure about the pastels. Look, stores like Express have made colors easy for guys. Granted, stocking up on every shade they have will get expensive over time. If you take care of your clothes, they will last though. Take a look at Espress' Men's line. They have some bright reds, blues, purples, and etcetera that will really light up in bar with dimmed/mood lighting. Granted, a few shades may be "too bright" in the midday sunshine, but you can play that down a bit with darkr colors underneath. You can also wear a neutral or plain color on top, and brighten it with a bright color underneath as well (which may be more appropriate during the midday sunshine). Other stores are starting to get better at providing good coloring in their items, without the $50-$80 price tag. Don't just buy something because you like it, but it because you like it and it goes with five things you already have. Try and mix and match your items. It'll expand your wardrobe emensely.

4th - SHADES ARE A MUST! - But, you do NOT need a $200+ of Oakley's, or whatever, from any Sunglass hut or spinoff store. Hit up a Target. YES, I SAID TARGET. Check out the Mossimo aviators. They have the more traditional ones, and then some kind of squared ones. They have mirrored, and non-mirrored, polarized and non-polarized. No, they dont have the kind that are polarized depending upon the sun's intensity, but are those really necessary? And, the best thing is... they are about $15 each; which means when you sit on them, step on them, drop them, or simply just lose them (like I always seem to), they are not expensive to replace. NOTE: I can't find these online, but every time I hit up any of the local Target stores they have them. Additionally, make sure the style you buy fits your face, and your style. You wanna feel good, as much as you wanna look good.

5th - CHECK YOUR HAIR - Please do. Check the lines, at the edges, especially if you have a short style. If you havent had your hair cut in awhile, you'll likely at least need a neck trim, and a trim around the ears. Check your nose hair and eyebrows for that matter too. You can Google or YouTube how to groom your eyebrows on your own. Do it. It's simple, and you do not need to see a barber for it. And, you wont look like the dad from American Pie every time you hit the club.

Also, I have a major tip for the guys out there who like to spike your hair up. Do you want soft spikey hair like you see all the celebrities have? Have you tried a billion products and continue to have that gunky feeling when you run your hands through it? Or, do you suffer from having to practically glue your hair into spikes every weekend evening? TRY THIS! First, if you want your hair straight, or straightish, go buy a stupid flat iron. Buy it online if you are afraid or embarassed to buy it in the store. The excuse, "I accidentally broke my girlfriend's" is always useful. Buy a cheap one. You do not need a $300 CHI. Second, go to an Aveda and get yourself some control paste. Third, apply a small amount of control paste to your hands, rub it into your hands, then apply it to your hair like you usually apply your hair glues. Then slowly flat iron your hair. WARNING: You WILL burn yourself until you learn to use the thing correctly. Be careful! And YouTube how to use one correctly. Doing this leaves you with a slight shine to your hair, and it becomes much softer. You can then apply a little more control paste if your hair wont completely cooperate in the way that you want it to. It wont work perfectly right away. But, once you understand how it works, you can adjust your system accordingly.

FINALLY - Have some fun with it. Try some new and daring stuff. Who cares if not everyone likes it. It will get you some attention.

I'm just a normal guy... Most the time I look like this. But sometimes, I look like this, this, this, or even this. It may not be your style. Or, you may think I'm butt ugly; that's fine with me. I'm not a model, and I'm not going to sit here and say I'm a fashion expert. I'm clearly not. And, I still make a lot of guy mistakes. In fact, sometimes I still make the mistakes I've listed above. But, I do try. And, I think you'll find the more you try, the more confident you'll be come, and the more fun you'll have. Good luck!

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